Ah yes, vegetarian meat. Proof that there are things worse than death.
I had the unfortunate opportunity to receive a free package of both Tofurky jerky and lunch meat from a race a while back and was hesitant to open them and consume what questionable food was within. I took the jerky with me to class some days ago and it wasn't terrible, so I thought I'd try the deli slices. Big mistake.
First off, the jerky. It didn't taste that bad, just really salty. The flavor was hard to discern through all of the salt, but I think it tasted similar to jerky. The slices were a whole different story though. When I first opened it, it was like opening the Ark. A stench of Biblical proportions creeped forth and I gagged a little. The slices themselves were Italian style so the herbs only strengthened the unholy aroma. A feeling of foreboding loomed over me as I placed the unusual material upon my bread and applied a generous helping of miracle whip and mustard. Those and the cheese are the only things that prevented me from losing it midway through. Remember kids, when a strange group of runners gives you a free sample of a meat free substance that can only be referred to as food in the metaphysical sense, politely decline and run away.
On the plus side, we went to Burger Basket tonight and it was one of the best sandwiches I've ever had, so I guess that evens things out.
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